Singleness Is a Gift
The Bible never calls singleness a curse. It calls it a gift. For some it is a season on the way to marriage. For others it is a calling for a lifetime. Either way, you are not behind.
Not a Waiting Room. A Gift.
Singleness in America is at an all-time high. People are delaying marriage, struggling to find a partner, and quietly wondering if something is wrong with them. The church has not always helped. Sometimes it treats single people as an unfinished product. This message goes to 1 Corinthians 7 and makes a case the church rarely makes with full force: singleness is not a curse. It is a gift from God.
Paul clarifies two things quickly. Marriage is good, a moral outlet for God-given desire, a picture of two becoming one. If you are moving toward marriage, do it in the Lord. Marry someone who loves Jesus more than they love you. Do not yoke yourself to someone going a different direction.
Justin gives three C’s for dating, rooted in scriptural wisdom. Clarity: define what you are looking for before feelings cloud your logic. Consistency: trust is built through steady action, not intense bursts. Community: bring the people who love you into the picture. If you are afraid to introduce someone to your family or church, that fear is telling you something.
For those called to singleness, Paul makes an argument that goes beyond his own example. Jesus himself was single. The most transformative person in the history of the world did his work without a spouse. The gift of singleness is not a lesser gift. It is undivided devotion, a specific freedom the married person does not have. Valor Church is an expository, Bible-teaching church in northwest Arvada, Colorado, serving Westminster, Broomfield, Five Parks, and Candelas. Sundays at 8:30 and 10:30 at Excel Academy, 11500 W 84th Ave.
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Go deeper with this message all week.
Seven days of Scripture, reflection, and prayer drawn from this sermon. One a day. Read it in five minutes. Carry it the rest of the day.
Both Are Gifts
1 Corinthians 7:7
Paul calls both singleness and marriage gifts from God. Not one is better. Not one is lesser. The question is not which season is superior. It is which one God has given you, and whether you are receiving it as a gift. If you are single today, that is not a deficit. It is an assignment.
Prayer
Lord, help me receive my current season as a gift from you. Not as a waiting room or a consolation prize.
Marry in the Lord
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked. Do not date someone hoping you will bring them to the Lord. It is far easier to be pulled down than to pull someone up. If you are pursuing marriage, pursue someone who loves Jesus more than they love you. That is not a low bar. That is the right bar.
Prayer
Lord, give me discernment and patience to wait for someone who is pursuing you. Protect me from compromising that standard.
Clarity First
Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart. Clarity must come before emotional intimacy, not after it. Do not give someone spouse-level access to your heart when they have not made their intentions clear. The most courageous thing in dating is honesty about who you are and what you want.
Prayer
Lord, give me the courage to be clear about who I am, what I want, and what I am worth, before I let someone in.
Character Over Charm
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive. Beauty is fleeting. The most magnetic person in the room is not automatically the best partner for the long haul. Look for faithfulness before attraction. Look for someone who follows through on small things, because those small things matter enormously when life gets hard.
Prayer
Lord, reorder what I find attractive. Help me be more drawn to faithfulness and love than to charm.
Identity Is Not Status
Galatians 3:28
Your marital status is a box on a form. It is not any more identifying than the color of your hair. You are a Christian who happens to be single, not a single person trying to be a Christian. Your worth, your calling, your seat at the table are not contingent on having a spouse.
Prayer
Lord, remind me that my identity is already complete in you. I am not waiting to become someone I already am.
Undivided Devotion
1 Corinthians 7:35
Paul says the unmarried person can be devoted to the Lord without distraction. This is not a consolation. It is a specific freedom the married person does not have. The energy, the availability, the undivided attention you can give to the kingdom right now is a gift the world needs.
Prayer
Lord, show me what you want to do with my undivided attention in this season. Help me not waste it wishing for a different one.
Jesus Was Single
Hebrews 4:15
The most influential person in history lived from start to finish without a spouse and did the most transformative work the world has ever seen. He was tempted as we are. He knows the ache. Because he suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are tempted. When loneliness hits, your Savior walks the road with you.
Prayer
Lord, when the ache is heavy, remind me you walked this road. And that you walk it with me still.
For your small group, family, or personal reflection.
- The Bible calls singleness a gift. Does that feel true to you? Why or why not?
- Paul says marriage and singleness are both gifts from God, and neither is better. What makes it hard for the church and our culture to fully believe that?
- The three C’s are Clarity, Consistency, and Community. Which of these is hardest to practice in today’s dating culture, and why?
- Justin argues that dating apps work against all three C’s by design. Do you agree? What would healthier, community-based dating look like in a church like Valor?
- Jesus himself was single his entire life. How does that fact change the way you think about singleness as a Christian calling?
- What would it look like to teach our children that singleness is honorable while they are still young, so they do not arrive at adulthood feeling like failures if they are not married?
- What does the church owe its single members beyond just praying for them to find someone? What would it look like for Valor to be a genuine family for singles?
Want to work through these with others? Small groups at Valor meet throughout the week. Find a Group
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Excel Academy, 11500 W 84th Ave. Come as you are. A friendly face will save you a seat.
Arvada, CO 80005
720-507-9246
Arvada, CO 80005
720-507-9246